Mom relies on grandma to babysit, protests when she keeps giving 2-year-old her phone: 'I want to raise my son without screens'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 27, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Should a parent have to sacrifice their principles to get family to babysit?

It is a well-known phenomenon that a lot of parents start out with the noblest intentions when they have their kids, but they do not always translate into their experience of parenting. They insist that their future children will not embarrass them in public, be picky eaters, have screentime, or sleep poorly. More often than not, they end up getting humbled in some way because the task of raising kids is not as steady or predictable as they assumed.

One of the more difficult parts of sticking to your standards as a parent is if you let other people babysit your children. The chances are they are going to have slightly different ideas about what is and isn't acceptable when it comes to looking after them. Trying to enforce certain rules on kids is one thing, but demanding it of an adult is another matter altogether. Sometimes, the sacrifice that has to be made for affordable and available childcare is allowing things that you don't normally. If that is a step too far, it is probably time to consider other babysitting options that align with your ideals. Having it all as a parent is hard in more ways than one.

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  • A toddler looks at a phone he is holding
    via hessam nabavi

    A toddler looks at a phone he is holding

  • A single mom and her 2-year-old son were living with her mom on a floor of her house. One of the benefits of living together was that the mom was able to let the grandma watch her son whenever she felt like she needed some time to herself.

    Although this arrangement seemed to work well on the surface, she was getting increasingly frustrated with how her mom handled time with her grandson. She didn't want her child around screens, but her mom would often hand her phone to her toddler when she felt like she was overwhelmed. She wanted advice on how to handle the situation.

  • My mother keeps giving my two year old her phone, and lies about it. What can I do?

    I'm a single mom and currently living back in my mother's house with my son, although we have our own floor. I'm often overwhelmed, and when that happens, I let my mother watch him. Even when I'm not overwhelmed, he loves being with her and often asks if he can go upstairs. Most of the time, I let him.
    via need_advice123678
  • Lately, though, something has really been bothering me. I want to raise my son (2 years old) without screens for now. I want screen time to be reserved for absolute worst- case scenarios-like if you're stuck in bed with a stomach bug and there's nobody around to help. And even then, I'd want it to be low-stimulation content.
    via need_advice123678
  • This is something that's very important to me because I've seen what can happen when kids spend all day in front of a phone. My nephew is an example of that. Anyway, it's happened several times now that my mother has simply put him in front of her phone when she couldn't handle him anymore. I've
    via need_advice123678
  • clearly communicated to her that I'd rather she call me, and I'll find a solution—even if I'm overstimulated myself. I'd much rather deal with that than have someone hand a smartphone to a two-year-old. My mother is someone who is incredibly bad at interpersonal communication. I know some people
    via need_advice123678
  • reading this will think, "Just talk to her." But I have. Over and over again. In the end, she always says, "It was only three minutes" (funny how it's always three minutes). But when I check her YouTube watch history, he's often been watching for close to an hour. Today, when it happened again and I told her she should have called me, she
    via need_advice123678
  • said that this isn't a "dropping him off" issue, it's a "picking him up” issue. According to her, if I don't come and get him, it's my responsibility if she ends up putting him in front of a screen-even though we never agreed on any specific pickup time. Another thing that really bothers me is that whenever I bring up the screen time, she immediately starts listing all the activities she did with him
    via need_advice123678
  • beforehand going outside for an hour, playing with toys, reading books, whatever. And while I appreciate those things, I don't understand how they justify ignoring a boundary I've repeatedly set. Does doing a bunch of good things beforehand somehow make the screen time okay afterward? I feel hurt by this, but also kind of powerless. Part of me wonders whether
    via need_advice123678
  • I'm focusing on the wrong thing, because what bothers me almost as much as the screen time itself is that she keeps dismissing my concerns and doing it anyway. Am I completely wrong here????| honestly don't know what to do.
    via need_advice123678
  • Cheezburger Image 10642437888
    via hessam nabavi

    A toddler looks at the screen of a phone he is holding

  • Best-Run-8414 If you're the one who is overwhelmed, how are you letting her watch him? You're the one who needs the help. From her perspective, she'd be allowed to say "my daughter keeps bringing me her toddler and when I'm overwhelmed with him or tired, I give him a screen and she gets
    via Best-Run-8414
  • upset." Maybe limit your breaks to 30 mins or clearly communicate to her what you need as far as free time. You listed quite a few things that she does with him before resorting to screen time. Maybe supply coloring materials or save his favorite (or a new) toys for when they're together. She's doing you a favor.
    via Best-Run-8414
  • VFTM Girl, you are lucky to be living at her house. Let go of your anxiety. Grandma is gonna take care of him differently than you do and that's actually a good thing.
    via VFTM
  • Poundaflesh You can't handle him, she can't handle him, what's she supposed to do? Everyone is passing this kid off and you're going to give her a hard time?? How ungrateful!
    via Poundaflesh
  • YOU need to figure something else out besides your mom. You say she's bad at communicating so she's not going to tell you she's had enough. Get a babysitter. Start training your son to find another solution besides grandma.
    via Poundaflesh
  • SimplySuzie3881 I mean... if you don't like how she is doing it don't use her as a sitter. Paid hired help, yes, you can set those boundaries. Mom doing you a favor, you can request but can't really demand. If she has listed all the things like park for an hour and XYZ and you still see
    via SimplySuzie3881
  • history of an hour on the screen how long is she watching him? Mom is probably tired and needing a break. Are you leaving him there hours on end? Sounds like it. Maybe limit drop offs to an hour or two so when mom starts getting done you are back to get
    via SimplySuzie3881
  • him. If she says its a picking up issue you are overstaying his welcome. Ask mom how long she wants to keep him at a time. She is clearly telling you and you are not listening. Maybe you need to throw in some paid sitter time if you feel strongly about this.
    via SimplySuzie3881

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toddler grandma parenting babysitting
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